RETRO: Nintendo NES Classic Mini

If you’re reading this and wondering if you should buy one -don’t bother, it is already too late.  After selling out of these in late 2016, Nintendo ran another production run of the Mini NES that went on sale June 29th.  Most outlets appear to be sold out already.  By dumb luck, I happened to be on Best Buy’s website on the 29th, saw them for sale, and snatched one up.  If you’re looking for one, keep checking Best Buy, Walmart, ThinkGeek, and GameStop (you might get lucky).  Some folks might be lucky enough to find one in-store at Target.  Scum suckers will most likely have these on Ebay and Amazon for 3-4x the price.  Bonne chance…

This thing is small.  Really small.  I don’t have access to an original NES anymore, but I’m thinking that the controllers are smaller than they used to be too, maybe 7/8 size now.  Dunno.  The cords on these things aren’t very long, so if you buy one, make sure you get the extension cords.  It only comes with one controller too, so if you and your cat want to play ‘Super C’ together, you’ll need one of those too.  No, the cartridge lid doesn’t pop up.  Would have been a great place to stash shit.

There are two ports for the controllers, a USB power plug port, and an HDMI connection for video and sound.  Both are crisp and clear -marked improvements over the RCA connections your original NES used.  Thirty games are included.  They are:

Balloon Fight, Bubble Bobble, Castlevania, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Double Dragon II: The Revenge, Dr. Mario, Excitebike, Final Fantasy, Galaga, Ghosts ‘n Goblins, Gradius, Ice Climber, Kid Icarus,  Kirby’s Adventure, Mario Bros., Mega Man 2, Metroid, Ninja Gaiden, Pac-Man, Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream, StarTropics, Super C, Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, Tecmo Bowl, The Legend of Zelda, and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of “Balloon Fight” or “Star Tropics” before, and no one wants to play “Tecmo Bowl.”  “Ice Hockey” might have been a better sports-themed choice, if they needed to include any at all… 

So is it worth it?  I think so.  A lot of my favorites are here (Konami stuff, SMB’s, Mega Man 2, etc.) and you can even save progress in your games via the built-in menu.  Save time by not scrounging yard sales for “game tapes” and don’t worry about having to blow on cartridges to get them to work now.  Besides, what does $60 by you these days anyway?  A tank of gas and some fucking cigarettes?

I should point out that I haven’t been able to get the infamous Konami cheat codes to work -I’m not sure if they removed them or if I’m just remembering it wrong.  Also, just so you know, this thing still cheats like a mother-fucker; Dr. Mario always throws me the pillz I don’t need, and your controllers still magically lock up right when King Hippo is about to deck you.  Then again, hysterically yelling at the Nintendo screen has always been part of my Nintendo gaming experience and I’m glad that is still a part of it.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED (if you can find one)

$59 / online and in-store.


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