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FINE DINING: HAUTE DOGS

We’ll keep this simple.  The best hotdogs in the Universe are in Paris, France.  No exceptions.  Fucking period.  They’re so good, they don’t even need condiments.  Not even onions.  What could possibly be better than fresh baked baguette, real casing sausage, and Gruyere cheese baked on top?  I can think of only one way to make these better; wrap them in tin foil and shoot them out of air cannons at baseball stadiums.  Given the girth and length of one of these suckers, part of the fun would be the injuries caused by launching these sausage torpedoes at unsuspecting fans.

You can buy these everywhere and they typically run between 2 – 5 €  – with the money you save, we recommend you indulge in our recommended accoutrements:  a can of Fanta (made with actual sugar and not corn slime) and a bag of fucking chips.  They probably were fried in something that WON’T give you cancer.

You might be tempted to eat snails or frogs or something like that instead -don’t waste your time.  The French own this shit like they invented it.

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